. . . and her body says yes , and her scent . . . that scent says a thousand times yes . And my own body's answer is loud, so loud it almost hurts . The heat . The throbbing . A thousand times yes . . .
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When we enter the building, he hesitates for a moment at the door to my apartment, watching where I'm heading. I like Edward's three-quarter bed much better than the remaining half of my ex-marital double bed, so I take his hand and pull him towards the stairs. He follows all too willingly, and when I look back over my shoulder, I am rewarded with the sexiest smile. Looks like he prefers his own bed, too.
"Lead the way." I let go of him and step aside to allow him to pass.
He stops dead in his tracks and looks at me as though I just said the most ridiculous thing. "No."
"You're the one with the keys," I try to reason with him. "You should go first." I briefly consider telling him that I'm also looking forward to watching his delectable behind ascend the stairs, but I don't get the chance.
"I can't go first," he declares firmly, again with that are-you-kidding-me look on his face.
He shakes his head no.
Oh... of course!
I smirk at him. "You just want to ogle my badonkadong on the way up, don't you?"
"Oh... no. I mean, yes… but that's not… no."
I'm confused. And kind of disappointed. No?
"It's just not the way this is done," he says cryptically.
"This? Okay, I'm at a loss. What isn't done this way, and why can't you go first?"
And what, for crying out loud, is wrong with my butt?
"I'm supposed to walk behind you, so I can catch you in case you trip. The woman always goes first," he says matter-of-factly. He sounds a little taken aback, too. Probably because he's wondering how it is even possible that I don't know about "the way this is done".
"That's very… chivalrous of you," I reply, bemused. "I guess I'll go first then."
"Yes, please." He motions for me to move on, and I obediently turn on my heels and start climbing the stairs, Little Green in trail.
We take the two flights in silence, and it's not before we reach the second landing that he passes, keys in hand. He holds the door open for me and I walk inside. I hear the door click shut; the keys tinkle and then stop tinkling. Edward steps up to me from behind to help me off with my coat.
As I shrug out of it, I can't help but admit to myself how much I like his good manners. Why didn't I notice them earlier? Come to think of it, he's actually been like that all the time, helping me in and out of the car, opening doors, holding the chair for me and now, well… climbing the staircase behind me.
"Bella?" I turn around to find my gallant boyfriend look at me sheepishly. He scratches the back of his head and says, "I totally ogled your badong... behind, just so you know."
I want to do a fistpump at his confession, but I do my utmost to keep a straight face. "And did you like it?"
He beams at me. "A lot!"
And there he stands, fidgeting and messing with his hair. I watch him alternately frown and smile for a few seconds, then I can't take it any longer. "What's wrong?"
He shakes his head. "It's so strange sometimes now, with all the talking, you know. Like right now... I want to touch you. Easy, you know, like we used to do."
"Yes?" I wonder where this is going. He seems so insecure all of a sudden, almost scared. "What's keeping you from it?"
"I don't know. I feel I have to put everything in words these days, like I should have asked whether you even want me to make love to you. I feel like I'm assuming too much, even with you. As if you're supposed to know what I want, but you don't, and the other way round. It's like nothing really works anymore without talking."
"What do you mean?" I ask, tentatively walking over to him. "Of course, I want you to make love to me."
Edward casts his eyes down and smiles. "That's good to know," he says. He still has those long lashes I always admired when we were kids; he looks breathtaking. Without taking his eyes off of the floor, he reaches for my hips as soon as I'm within his reach. "I don't know why I felt funny about it; I just wasn't sure what you want, so I was wondering..."
"And then you got shy?"
"Yes, kind of. And I don't want that. But I started thinking, and suddenly I didn't know how to proceed from here. All those thoughts got in my way, and I couldn't move past them. Like it wasn't safe to just... touch you. Like I needed to figure out if you want it too, before I do anything."
He is still talking to his shoes, and I don't know whether to laugh or to worry about his sudden sentiment. It seems my usually so unabashed boyfriend is having an awkward moment due to the fact that he took me home to have sex with me, but we're still standing in the hallway and the 101 of seduction completely eludes him. Or something like that. What the...?
"Edward, please look at me."
He lifts his head, and when his eyes meet mine, they are full of expectation. I put my arms around his waist and pull him close. When our hips meet, everything feels soft down there, so... okay, now I'm worried.
"Are you afraid that I'd reject you?"
"Not really," he says with a shrug. "I know you won't, but still..."
"You're right, I won't. I will always want you, Edward. Your touch, and your love."
He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against mine. "Bella..." he sighs.
"You're thinking too much, Edward."
I feel him nod his head yes. "I know, right? This is just not us."
"Maybe not. But we both have changed, as did the circumstances, and maybe we cannot always just know what the other one wants. That's perfectly normal, I think. You know, not many people get each other without words like we do anyway."
"Oh, I'm aware of that, trust me."
"Of course you are. Also, talking is a good thing; it's what people do all the time. It's kind of helpful, you know?"
He snickers, and my heart swells with love for him.
"So if you feel like you need to talk to me, or you want to ask me anything, just do it. Never be shy with me, okay?"
He tilts his head back and flashes me a brilliant smile. "Okay."
"Good," I say, smiling back at him. "Now that we've established that I really want you to make love to me, what do you want?"
"I want to make love to you, too. You know that," he whispers.
I lean into him, brushing my lips against his ear. "No. Tell me what you want." I take his earlobe between my teeth, nibbling gently. "What do you want to do to me? What's next? Or is there anything you want me to do right now? Tell me, please..."
His hands have wandered from my hips down to my behind. With a groan, he pulls me even closer and, ah yes... now we're talking! I love the feel of his erection pressing into me through his pants.
"Words can be nice, right? Even if they're not necessary," I coo, licking the sensitive dent behind his ear. "I have an idea what you want, but maybe I want to hear it anyway. Can you do that for me? Can you tell me what you want?"
"Bella…" he moans.
"Please, tell me."
"Anything I want?" He definitely looks intrigued now.
"Anything," I confirm without hesitation.
I trust him completely; he would never ask anything I'm not comfortable with. Or maybe it's the other way round – I just cannot imagine anything I wouldn't like being intimate with Little Green.
I have no idea where this is going, but I'm in an experimental mood. Being with Edward somehow always seems to bring out this bold side I never even knew I had in me. His undiluted love and desire for me makes me feel sexy and playful; I enjoy every second of it.
And he seems inclined to play along. His breathing gets a little labored; he likes this. And I like that he likes it. Very much! I can hardly keep myself from jumping him. Grinding my hips against him, just a little to spur him on, I say, "I'm listening."
He licks his lips and swallows. That familiar crease appears between his brows, as if he needs to think about it for a moment, while his thumbs are nervously drawing small circles on my butt cheeks.
"Okay," he starts hesitantly. "I think I would like for you to..."
Our faces are so close that our noses almost touch, and I don't know if it is his breath washing over me or the sound of his velvet voice what makes me a little dizzy, as he asks softly, "Would you undress for me? While I watch?"
Sweet baby Jesus, give me strength!
And here I thought, the seducing part was mine. I blink a few times and take a deep breath to compose myself. Then I answer firmly, "Of course I would, if you told me to."
"Oh no, I didn't mean… that would be like ordering you around" he objects, taken aback.
"Yes," I say. "But that's the point, isn't it?" I can't help but grin mischievously.
His green eyes widen. "Bella?"
"Maybe I like it. Maybe you'd like it. Who knows?"
He gasps. "Fuck!"
I wiggle out of his arms and take a few, deliberately slow steps backward. Crossing my arms in front of me, a grab the hem of my tee, lifting it just an inch. Then I stop and wait.
The seconds tick by. Little Green stands perfectly still, except for the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathes noisily through parted lips. His eyes are glued to my hands. After what seems like an eternity, he finally looks up and shakes his head, smiling wryly.
"Bella, I don't think this…"
"What?" I laugh.
"… is right."
"Come on!" I lift my tee a little further, teasing him.
He giggles, "I cannot…"
"Can't we just…"
"… fuck… Bella, why can't we…"
We stare at each other, grinning like idiots. Apparently, neither of us can be serious for shit. So much for my first attempt at a bit of role-play. Our acting skills truly suck; this is ridiculous. With an awkward laugh, I let go of my tee. I'm about to leave it be, when Edward suddenly squints his eyes at me and whispers, "Wait."
His smile disappears like a light being switched off, and his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows noisily. He walks backward, putting more distance between us, until he leans against the wall behind him. He tilts his head back, looking at me from under half closed lids.
His lips part.
I hold my breath.
"Strip!" he says.
Oh my God, did he just…?
Oh my God!
In a split second, I feel like someone poured hot liquids over me; I'm sure my face is turning the deepest pink ever. I'm surprised, albeit in a good way, and terribly aroused, but fuck… now that he said it, I'm the one feeling shy all of a sudden! What now? How do I do it?
Slowly, right? Yes, slowly. And sensual. Or something along those lines. Ah, screw it! Here we go…
I lift my tee shirt in slow motion, inch by inch. I wish I had put on nicer undies, but well, Little Green and I were occupied otherwise this morning, and there was no time left to go to my place and change. Some music would probably be really helpful, too, come to think of it. I try to think of a sexy song to play in my mind, but I go completely blank. All that is there is the throbbing of my heart I can feel literally everywhere, head to toe, and the heat that makes my skin tingle.
When I have rolled the fabric up under my breasts, I stop and turn away from him, swaying my hips a little in the process, before I pull the tee over my head and toss it aside. It would probably all look much more convincing if I wore heels, but I try not to feel too silly tippy-toeing on the spot in my sneakers. I make a mental note to not neglect proper preparation next time, as I reach behind myself to unclasp my not-so-spectacular bra.
However, one (hopefully seductive) glance over my shoulder is all it takes to put an end to my self-deprecation. Not only is Edward still watching me intently from under heavy lids, I also catch him palming himself over the fly of his jeans. The sight of him is incredibly sexy and such a boost to my confidence that I'm unable to contain a wide grin. I turn my head just in time to hide it from him.
Oh this man! I could probably wear a potato sack, and he would still look at me as if I were Dita von Teese doing a pole dance in a Victoria's Secret ad. He likes what I'm doing. He likes it so much that he had to touch himself while he watched me. I wiggle my butt with renewed enthusiasm, really starting to enjoy myself. The only music I need is the sound of Edward's heavy breathing behind me to keep me going.
I shrug out of the bra straps, one at a time, and turn around, holding the cups in place with my hands. Edward is unbuttoning his shirt, which knocks me off my stride for a second. I involuntary lick my lips when his happy trail comes in sight. Again I fight the urge to smile, but not to much avail – he catches it. One corner of his mouth curls up for the briefest moment, then he furrows his brows, composing himself.
With an earnest expression on his face, he nods his chin towards my bra like a boss. "Take it off!" he commands, but then falters, "I want to see your…"
Breasts? Boobs? Girls? I raise my brows.
His forehead knits together even more. He clears his throat in a not so bossy manner before he finally and stoutly blurts, "Tits!"
The moment the word is spoken, I drop the offending piece of fabric, and when the bra hits the floor, I kick it aside. Edward's shoulders slump forward as if in defeat and he exhales a shuddering breath.
"God, you're beautiful," he sighs, totally falling out of character for a moment.
Seeing the almost desperate look on his face, I can hardly keep myself from walking over and put him (and myself!) out of this misery – as in, you know, throwing myself at him, nuzzling his happy trail, ripping his pants off of him… something like that. My nipples were already hard before the bra came off, but I swear they rise to the occasion even more now. Fuck, if he doesn't make me feel like the hottest woman on earth…
But I am on a mission here, hell-bent to finish what I started. So I bravely reach for the button of my jeans and flick it open. Immediately, Edward straightens his shoulders and quickly shrugs out of his shirt. There's no more going slow now. With as much grace as I can muster, I toe out of my chucks, glad for once that they are so well-worn I don't even have to untie the laces.
Edward does the same, mirroring my actions. His belt comes loose next, and I die a little inside when I see him mouth 'I love you'. I manage to mouth back 'Same', as we both pull down our zippers. And then I die a little more at the sight of his huge erection, straining against his boxer briefs, which cannot even hold the whole package – the tip of his cock is peeking out from under the waistband, already glistening with pre-cum.
I'm pretty wet myself at this point; I can smell my own arousal. I hurry to push my jeans down my thighs, not worrying about the possible non-sexiness of my panties, because they are still lost somewhere in Edward's bedroom. So, I'm not wearing any. Did I mention it was too late for changing this morning?
I merely have time to straighten myself and step out of the jeans pooling around my ankles when Edward crashes into me like a freight train. Under the onslaught of his passionate attack, I bump into the wall behind me with a squeak. And then there's only Edward, nothing but him… everywhere on me… nothing else but this man and his desire for me.
His lips on mine, his tongue not asking for entrance but invading my mouth. His breath comes in short puffs through flared nostrils, hot on my face. His hands are tangling in my hair first, but soon turn into a tight grip on the back of my head, bending and shaping me to his liking as he deepens the kiss and releases a rumbling groan.
I almost faint at the sound; it's the most erotic thing I ever heard. My stomach is putty, as are my knees, but he has shoved one leg between my thighs, effectively keeping me from weakly sliding down. That wouldn't be possible anyway, as tightly as I am trapped between his body and the wall. Chest, belly, hips flush with mine... Edward everywhere, grinding into me. You couldn't put a hair between us if you tried.
My moan is embarrassingly loud as I rub my throbbing clit against his thigh between my legs. With one hand still on the nape of my neck, he uses the other to cup one of my butt cheeks, squeezing it almost painfully, and pulls me even closer, increasing the friction. And fuck yes… his hard cock is pressing into my belly next to my hip-bone, driving me crazy with lust.
He breaks the kiss and we both gasp for air like free divers who made it to the surface at the very last second. In a brief moment of clarity, and with a strength I didn't know I possess, I push and squirm until I have successfully turned us around and he is the one with his back against the wall. Then I take a step back, holding my hand out, palm towards him to make him stay put.
He looks really tortured now. "Bella, please…" he pants.
"Condoms," I manage to rasp, still holding my hand up. After two more steps backward, and not taking my eyes off of his, I fumble blindly inside my purse on the small dresser behind me. I find a condom, feeling the familiar, doughnut-shaped tin foil between my fingers, and breathe a sigh of relief.
Kneeling in front of my gorgeous man, I rip the thing open like a pro while Edward eagerly shoves down his jeans and boxers in one go, if only to mid-thigh. I giggle when his cock comes free like a jack-in-a-box, almost slapping me in the face. I grab it at the base, eliciting another deep groan on Edward's behalf, and sheath him in one swift move. I've really become quite expert rolling those things on. I wished we didn't have to use them though; I seriously need to get on the pill or something.
"There you go," I murmur absentmindedly, noticing that we still have to get Edward's pants all the way down. But I don't get a chance to attend to the problem. Apparently, my mumbled sentiment was the last cue he waited for. Before I know it, I am pulled to my feet and twirled around. My shoulder blades hit the wall once more, and my lucid moment ends in another searing kiss. Oh, he's done teasing and being teased in earnest now, and I give myself over to his frantic caresses all too willingly.
Bending his knees, he assaults every inch of my skin that he can get a hold of; kissing, licking and nibbling… neck, shoulders, chest, breasts, and finally sucking at my achingly hard nipples. I'm dripping wet and tingling all over; in a sensual frenzy, I let him take control. He is a force against which I have no defense anyway, when he is like this, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
Before Little Green, I had no idea it could be like this. And now I can't get enough. I close my eyes and let him have his way with me. I know, my back and shoulders, among other parts of my anatomy, will most likely be pretty sore later, but I don't care. I want this; I want him so much. I want him to fuck me!
Jesus, did I just say that? Aloud?
"God, yes…!" he cries out.
Yep, I did say it!
He grabs my ass and lifts me off the floor. The insides of my knees scratch along some rough fabric, giving me a slight 'denim burn' of sorts and reminding me that Edward's jeans are still hanging around his thighs. The thought of how he was too eager to take them off somehow turns me on even more. And then there's only one thought left, repeating itself in my mind like a mantra.
Oh God, he's going to fuck me against this wall... oh God...
And that's exactly what he's doing.
"Your legs – put them around me!" he orders in a surprisingly dominating tone, and I hurry to do as I'm told. He briefly adjusts my weight with his hands under my butt, and then he enters me in one forceful thrust, making my spine scrape upwards on the woodchip wallpaper.
We both cry out in unison, overwhelmed by the initial sensation of being united like this. He stills, just holding me, and I revel in this first moment of being filled and stretched by his gorgeous cock. It stings a little; my girly parts weren't quite ready to be taken like this, but the pleasure is so much stronger than that. My spine, too, will probably have a lot to complain about, once we're done. But for now, I couldn't care less.
This is so good, so good… God, I love him so much!
His forehead leans against mine; we're panting into each other's mouth. His eyes are closed, and there's that deep crease between his brows, as if he needs to concentrate realyl hard – which he probably does.
He is so, so beautiful.
"I love you, Edward," I whisper between pants.
His eyes fly open. "Are… are you okay? Because I don't think I… I cannot wait, Bella, I just can't."
"Do it," I say. "Fuck me."
He buries his face in the crook of my neck, and with a loud moan, he starts moving. There's no slow build; he does what I asked him to do – he fucks me, hard and quick. This won't last long; I know he cannot hold it in. But I don't mind. Feeling him inside me is insanely good, and I love my man like this, unbound and fueled by his desire for me and only me.
I reach down between us to rub against myself. Edward shows his appreciation with a loud, "Fuck, Bella!", but doesn't falter in his frantic movements. When I feel his cock grow even bigger inside of me, I know that he's almost there, just like me.
There's a clattering noise coming from somewhere to the left of me. I turn my head and mesmerized, I watch a picture frame bouncing off the wall with each of Edward's hard thrusts.
He is getting vocal now, grunting and moaning, his noises getting louder and quicker in succession. It's just a matter of seconds now. I increase the speed of my fingers circling my wet clit and close my eyes. With one last cry and one last powerful thrust, my man convulses and stops breathing. The sensation of his cock pumping and pulsing inside of me is my undoing, too.
"God, yes… yes!" I scream, with one arm clinging to him for dear life when I feel my walls clamp down on him. A second before I literally start seeing stars, I hear a loud clatter; then everything goes blank.
When I come back to my senses a few minutes (or hours?) later, we are sitting on the floor, surrounded by our scattered clothes. Or better, Edward is sitting on the floor and I am sitting in his lap, cradled against his chest. How did we get here?
There's something covering my back and shoulders; I reach for it and then I stare at the corner of green fabric between my fingers, still having trouble gathering my wits.
"You were getting cold, so I put my shirt over you," he says softly and places a feather-light kiss on the top of my head.
"Thank you," I say and snuggle closer into him.
"Ah yes? It's a very nice shirt. The color suits you."
His answers is merely an incoherent hum, but it sounds pleased. I'm terribly sleepy all of a sudden; I can hardly keep my eyes open. Also, my back hurts like a motherfucker, just like I expected. But damn, it's so worth it.
"I'm sorry, if I hurt you," he declares as if he just read my mind.
"You didn't," I lie.
He doesn't buy it. "I'll draw you a bath anyway, if you don't mind."
I snicker. "I don't mind."
"Okay," he says. "The warmth will do you good. I could wash your hair, if you'd like."
"That would be heavenly," I admit. Isn't he the sweetest living thing?
"You need to let go of me though, so I can get up."
He pulls the shirt tighter around my shoulders and kisses my nose. When he scrambles to his feet and – finally – steps out of his jeans and boxers, I briefly wonder where the condom has gone. Apparently he has disposed of it while I was out, sort of...
Naked Edward slips into his shoes and starts collecting our clothes, piling them under one arm. Then he grabs my sneakers and puts them in front of me, neatly side by side.
"I'm going to take care of your bath. Please don't walk around here without shoes; there's shattered glass on the floor."
He looks at me expectantly, until I realize he's waiting for my acknowledgement. "Okay," I say, bewildered.
He smiles and crouches down for one last kiss before he heads towards the bathroom.
I slide my arms into the sleeves of Edward's pretty, new, green shirt and close the first three buttons. Then I put on my sneakers and stretch my legs out in front of me, which feels amazing. Leaning back against the wall under the scandalized objection of my spine, I look around, searching for any shards. It doesn't take me long to find them, and I laugh out loud at the sight of the scrambled thing on the floor to the left of me.